It's been a shit week for Michael Clarke. Scratch that - a shit month. No, no, wait - a shit season.
He struggled to hit the ball off the square during the Ashes. He had his first Test as skipper, which ended in an innings defeat. He retired from T20 cricket after said series to concentrate on the five-day format. He was then pilloried for a pedestrian effort in the first ODI v England. He caught heat from Cricket Australia brass for attending a charity function on the morning of the Boxing Day Test. He copped a serve from Joe Public for getting on the piss the night before the Melbourne Test ended in another innings defeat.
And now comes the most galling dagger of what has been an annus horribilis - having his batting technique criticised by a 17-year-old who plays fourth grade in Geelong.
It went down on Thursday when Daniel Brew gatecrashed the stand-in captain's pre-match press conference.
After sneaking past security and sitting among the press pack for nine minutes, the Bob Simpson-wannabe piped up and asked a question many cricket tragics were wondering about Australia's former golden boy.
"I've noticed something Michael, you're pushing at the ball too much. What are you going to do about that?"
Clarke started with a beaming smile and tried to deal with the surprise inquiry in good-natured fashion.
"I'm pushing at the ball too much? You should be a batting coach.What do you think I should do about it?"
The response was devastating in its simplicity.
''Play in front of your nose and under your eyes and not be reaching for it too much''.
The CA media guy - the same who penned a press release claiming that Nathan Hauritz's record in India was excellent when the World Cup squad was named - ended the all-in immediately. Spoilsport.
Emboldened, Brew had another chip at Clarke when he was batting in the nets later on.
"He asked him (Clarke) if he could borrow his bat because he wasn't using it. I told him off for that and made him apologise," Brew's dad said.
The whole incident would be funnier if it didn't reflect a major shortcoming in Australian cricket at the moment - the lack of technique at the top level.
Think Phil Hughes during the Ashes. Steve Smith every day. Clarke this season. Ricky Ponting has long been a candidate to getting out "on the walk" early on in his innings.
All were abject failures as the far more competent England bats stamped Australia flat during the Ashes.
I wonder if after Brew-ha-ha that the Australian batting coach - former Test great Justin Langer - sidled over and told Clarke "the kid's right, you know"?
I bloody well hope so.
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